New-Banner.jpg

Recognize Manipulative Behaviours

By Ilene Dillon

Characteristics Noticeable In “Lifestyle Manipulators”

Several of these appearing together indicate someone drains the energy of others as a way of life, qualifying them as a “Lifestyle Manipulator”:

  1. UNCOMFORTABLE ALONE: Has “plans,” constantly-on TV. radio, stereo or phone
  2. SINGLE-EYED: Concentrates on own view of things.
  3. APPEARS POWERFUL: Really only as powerful as 3-4 year old, or as the connection with the “Energy Broker”
  4. “ON,” UP ON THE LATEST: “Pictures,” How things look to others is important
  5. MISREMEMBERS FACTS: Remembers things in own favor
  6. MISREMEBERS CONTRACTS: The “Promise them anything, and do only what you have to” syndrome.
  7. TWISTS EVENTS: Others are seen as “bad,” “wrong” or “crazy” 
  8. APPEARS INTERESTED: Is basically collecting information, focus on self
  1. BEHAVES DIFFERENTLY: Acts like different person with different people; in a group, adopts a role or persona
  2. EXHAUSTING: Depletes energy of others; irritating
  3. PERCEPTIVE: Uses personal “radar” to “read” others—-for control
  4. CANNOT SEE OTHERS AS THEY REALLY ARE: Fear of not surviving if separate; views others as if they are the same as the viewer
  5. BELIEVE IN ACTION ONLY: Do not believe or act on words spoken to them
  6. CONTROLLING: Needs others to behave “correctly”
  7. TELLTALE VOCABULARY: “We,” “Our feelings,” “I need you,” etc.
  8. OFTEN ONLY BELIEVES PERSON IN AUTHORITY: In conflicts, may push until someone in authority makes and enforces decision
  9. NOT RESPONSIBLE: Frequently blames others, fate and circumstance
  10. QUICK REATTACHMENT TO “ENERGY BROKER”: Usually begins new relationship before current one is dealt with or finished.
  11. WINNING WAYS: Often charming, good with words, involved.

 

How To Tell When Your Energy Is Being Drained:

Your feelings will always tell you when energy-sapping occurs. Listen especially for:

  1. ANGER: far out of proportion to the event, often with no way to resolve your anger
  2. GUILT: Appearances say what’s wrong is caused by you
  3. EXHAUSTION: No obvious cause, usually occurs after contact
  4. KNOT IN PIT OF STOMACH: Tight feeling in the solar plexus—power center
  5. CONFUSION: Not confused before contact, then you ask yourself “Am I responsible, bad, wrong or crazy?”
  6. HELPLESSNESS: Other person appears to be very powerful, you not
  7. DESIRE FOR ESCAPE!: Overwhelming desire to escape from person/situation

 

Ilene L. Dillon, MFT, LCSW, www.EmotionalMasteryforLife.com

Copyright: RISE Publications, Davis, CA USA 1986 (revised 1992, 1998, 2007, 2015, 2023)

ilene@emotionalpro.com

Ilene Dillon

Ilene Dillon, aka The Emotional Pro, is an Emotional Literacy Pioneer, International Speaker, Coach, Parent Educator, three-time Amazon Best-selling author, and 51-year Marriage Counselor who has helped thousands escape the tyranny of emotions and manipulation in their marriages, families and workplace using her proven processes.

Author of “Emotions in Motion,” Ilene has been featured on national and international media and publications such as Personal Excellence, Women’s Day, and Peaceful Parenting.

As Internet Radio host, Ilene interviewed hundreds of luminaries such as Dr. Bruce Lipton, Hal Elrod, Brian Tracy, and actress Mariel Hemingway. 

Learn more about Ilene and her work Here

Tagged